Just a glancing thought

Well, to be honest, I don't understand with love or anything that related to it.

I just know its theory, I ever read one book which inside is explain about how is love made of and its process. If I'm not forgot, love is kinda like a chemical. It's made by two special chemicals things which are produced by our brain. When we see someone who make us happy or make our heart beating so fast, that chemicals will spontaneously produced by our brain and it's flow and spread inside our body. Our mind will influence by that chemicals and we feel 'love' to him/her.

It just a theory, I don't really sure, what happened in the reality. Long time ago, I ever felt like I 'love' a boy. The signs of love were happened to me, all of it. But after it ended, I just felt empty. Nothing was left in my heart. And it just happened, like a blowing winds.

But hey, I'm happy I could ever feel that kind of feeling, even it was no longer. However, it was so beautiful.. warm.. and everything is lovely. :) Isn't it?
How is it not beautiful if there's someone who always care toward you and give his attention only for you? how is it not make you glad if there's someone who always ready to give his shoulder when you feel you could'nt solve your problem alone, and he will give his chest so you will crying on it freely. Put your problem away and make you comfort.

I just feel, I care about him, I do.. but when he leave, mmm... I don't know...
Perhaps, it doesn't love. Perhaps it just a temporary feeling. Although I don't know, what love is. All I know is love only for Allah SWT.

The word 'love' is very common to say. People around the world are familiar with the word 'love'. Of course, they say it everytime, everywhere with everybody. It can be for their family, friends or their someone special.
But for me, it is unusual thing :(
I remember that I ever said that word, mmm.. that three words, to him, only him. Nobody else. Because, at that time, he made me feel like I'm the only special someone for him. He tried to convince me and I was convinced by him.

After a few years he left, I realized something. It just a word :) like a blowing winds, it comes and goes.
I couldn't hold on it for longer. But it gave me unforgettable moments...
I can only be thankful to Allah, because Allah ever bring him into my life and colored it.
Now, I can only memorize it... as my fond memories.

Do you know? I think I'm selfish and I always think that it's useless to have a relationship with a boys.
I don't mind if I get closer to them, they, or anybody else. But when I see them, suddenly I think what did they do? Don't they know that it just for temporary, that it will be not for longlast. But hey.. who I am? I also can't decide what will happen to them. I don't know either, it's Allah's business. I just guess.That things always appear in my mind. Yeah, I just keep it for me. So now, when I have a relationship, I never expect much. On top of that, I never think that I could have a love story like in the fairy tale, where all of the relationships are ended with a happy ending. Our life is fact, not fake.

Enough for now, thank for reading. :)